holidays...

looking at the training schedule, im not particularly looking forward to the holidays. haha. ohwell we'll do what needs to be done. its part and parcel of life.

urgh, i believe i almost lost my wrist during today's fitness test. sucks having an injury at this period of time, even if its a minor one. my wrist has been giving me problems for over a week already, just when is it gonna heal... tsk.

i swear i heard it crack and something rubbing about inside whilst i was doing chinups and pushups today. aye... sigh.




my absolute favourite song of all time.

growl..

sucks to be brought crashing back down to earth after being on a high... friday was good. exercised in the morning, pretty much slacked the whole day in school, watching 'Deathnote' and 'Deathnote2' till 1. then well yeah..

trainings have made me realise ive really been neglecting team issues for wayy too long. i really wonder how eugene managed to do all these. im drowning even with fi as my partner to help. urgh. there are just so many things to look into, im not to sure where to start..

all the while, people are telling me: 'hey capt, *** needs to be done', 'hey, i think you should ***, it would help the team'. guys, im only human. i can only do things one at a time, and i dont perform miracles. but give me some time, i'll give you everything, every fibre of my being if i have to. work with me alright?



im no superman.

countdown.

if you think about it, doesnt it always seem to be the case that we're counting down to something? like first there was the PSLE, then the yearly FYEs, then the Os, then the promos. even now with the promos over, theres the PW submission to look forward to, then Adivs next year, and capping it off with the Alevels. deadlines deadlines, i dont see an end to it in the forseeable future, just what are we working towards. im thinking its just the same thing out in the working world... damn this human rat race..

aye.. anyway, i really cant remember anything else about the past week apart from trainings. haha. as im typing this, im kinda wondering where my weekend went. i mean, i havent really done anything at all, apart from paddling that is... its like i spend the better part of the day paddling, then the rest of the time resting, revitalising myself so that.. i can paddle again, not that im complaining though, ive chosen this, precisely cos i love it that much. its like ive never felt so committed by anything before, ive never been so motivated to do self training, to seek self improvement. lets put it this way, its good for the heart (not to mention body)

heh. i made quite a revalation last night! ive been thinking that i had this shortage in money.. haha. in fact i have some extra cash lying around. yay. no need to worry about money for awhile then, can even get the body tights and new running shoes with quite a bit to spare.. time to get some new clothes, me thinks.. ;P




i kinda hate the way i am now.. i dont really know what im doing sometimes. am i saying it cos i believe what im saying, or am i saying it to try and convince myself of something i dont really believe. sometimes, its alright, but i still get these pangs.. i realise that im cheating myself by saying one thing and meaning another .. aye.. i need to get through this.the truth is that i still often wonder: what if..

argh.. cancelled... not fated. tsk.

-.-

hmm. the weeks come to an end again. whats there to say, nothing special as usual i guess... trainings and self trainings are kinda all that i remember about school nowdays. pw is just like this irritating thing that wont seem to go away. i just cant wait till i dont have to worry about it anymore... grrrr...

promotion promotion. im rather surprised and relieved by results. whew... even though i flunked my econs finalyears so freaking badly. haha. im pretty glad that the whole class is gonna promote together too, i really couldnt bear to see anyone get left behind, it really wouldnt be a nice feeling, especially since our class is now so much closer as compared to earlier in the year. i still remember a time when i really didnt feel like i liked the class at all, and id feel totally lost without the canoeists. things have changed - thankfully ;) however, guanming's still gotta get through those extra papers at the beginning of next year to be confirmed ... all the way dude, study hard this hols, better promote with us. just wouldnt be the same without you.

ooh some social life at last.. haha. gonna catch a movie with the classmates after training tmr. yeah man... ive been so totally left out of all the class activities all year. haha. and then theres that class chalet to look forward to during the hols. woohoo - class bonding! heh.

;(

today was another horribly slack day in school. i honestly think that school is now just a place where i go to use the facilities to exercise... like really. ran my second 4k in 2days. haha. its not even that tiring anymore.

promo results are coming out in just a couple of days and im pretty worried, not just for myself, but i really hope that our class can stay together. although both mrwang and mrlee have dropped hints that we're probably gonna all (or most of us) promote, its still a little worrying. apparently there are still a couple of us with 'borderline' scores...

still, kevin ah kevin. quite worried about him eh. id really hate to see him retain too. tsk. its been like 5years since ive got to know him. itd really suck not to have him in the same level...

celebrated dayna's birthday in school in the evening. haii, we're lousy eh, cant even pull off a surprise birthday celebration. ohwell... haha hoped you liked the presents.

i seriously feel that pw periods are a total waste of time, we kinda spent it talking, messing around, and then candyman and gang started playing with their hair. lol.

slackest week of school in the entire year by far... haha. pw week is such nonsense. just take a look at my group, we spent all the pw tutorials slacking off, not doing much work at all. there'll be some playing with their PSPs, then guoxiang or someone playing LF2 (?!?). then i'll be the nerdy one reading my 'Three Kingdoms'. wahaha. waste of time please.

but i guess its still been rather cool in the sense that ive got a fair bit of running done this week. been going running at the park connector every morning for the past week. its been rather productive even though i dont think the route is that long -3km? realised that a relaxed 15min run per morning really wakes me up. need to cultivate this habit. heh.

water trainings have been ... alright i guess. still pretty slow with my k1 that its pretty frustrating. at least there are no problems with the k2. wahaha. im seriously looking at the prospect of chionging for those boats already, k1 really doesnt seem to be my forte and i cant understand it.. coach's talks seriously make a lot of sense. in order to win what you want, you dont just have to do, you cant just do more than the people around you, youve got to 'do more, do more'. haha. theres really no time for fooling around and being unsure, you've got to know what you want, and seize the opportunities that come by.

felicia!! im still waiting for the class outing! haha. please please please organise. after organising all the past ones, im quite bored of doing the calling already. hahaha.

canoeing and studies are my 24/7 already, no time for anything else. whatever comes will come, lets leave it to fate (;

*wince* *cringe* these past few days have been pretty painful. the cuts on my left hand and the bruised finger on my right havent really been kind to me. everything i touch brings pain, cant stretch cant grip. urgh...

spent the day resting and reading "Romance of the Three Kingdoms". haha. its been awhile since ive enjoyed a good book. think i should get back to reading, used to be a habit with me. back to being nerdy!

ah. mysterious girl's equally mysterious guy friend added me online a few days ago. haha. eh i know youre reading this blog. just talk to me if you wanna know me. its strange if you get people to talk to me. im not some monster who eats people right.. at least, i dont think i am.. haha.

oh yeah. i was out getting lunch today and i met clarice! like for the first time since primary school can. haha. she looks really really different now though. still as imba tall as ever, with insanely pale skin and dyed blonde hair. kinda makes her look like some caucasian. i swear i did a double-take before recognising her. its really an indicator of how old i actually am already, no longer that kiddo from primary school. all grown up, time to be more mature and take on more responsibilities already. time to grow up hilary!

whoa this week has had it all. its been the best break from studying ever.

plenty of time for everything yeah - reorganised my room again. thinking about it, it seems like i do that after every year end exam. not that its fun or whatever, but i kinda get bored with my spare time and also with the layout of my room after seeing it for a year. haha. at least now i can sit at the table and face the tv at the same time. heh. im never gonna be able to study at home already - not like it was productive before..

its been really great to get back into the water over at bedok.. well not literally 'in' the water la. but its a good feeling to be back paddling, although the time off has made even short distances feel imba tiring. haha. and the sun has been a killer - disgusting singlet tan. whats more the feeling of the youknowwhats have been youknowhow imba wonderful. apart from that scare today with rachel and her boat. haha. lucky girl.

im pretty contented with this short break from school, even though i havent like gone out to chill or whatever... come to think of it, i havent done that in the longest ever time. id really like to go out one day, hang out outside, catch a movie, stroll around without having to worry about school stuffs or upcoming trainings and such, but i know thats just impossible at this point. at least i have the old old primary school outing to look forward to.. i think. haha. felicia - i know youre reading this, this time you organise okayyy!! ;)

ohman. slept plenty too. especially training days. id be up by 7. over at bedok by 8. home after lunch and all at 3plus, then id just black out will 7ish. haha. and *poof* there goes the day... not like ive got anything better to do. im realising that i lead a pretty boring life. lol. and to think ive turned down offers to go out.. haha something wrong with me.

*wow i was surprised that you asked me to go swimming. lol. first time youre over here too. tsk tsk. bake more cookies! ;))