psst..

lets just not talk about it anymore shall we? lets not think, lets not speak, lets not do.

let it be.

Love

dammit. i seriously feel like crying right now. okay maybe im already tearing.. just wanna say that ive got the best damned parents that a person could ask for. dont ask why, you dont need to know.





thanks for the trust. wont let you down.

replies to tags (sorry they took so long- busy!) :

cheehao/tzet/eugene; :
haha! who says im giving a treat! i spent so much recently already. dont make me go bankrupt.

Cherylwinnn! :
haha. ego ego ego. how can someone call herself lovely? wheres the proof! aye i tell you talking to you is quite torturous since you reply like days after when i forgot what i asked you already. haha. so you vice-pres of tjc you very busy la! dont reply msgs. haha. kidding!

mann :
AHAH! thats what i was telling you the other day right... told you they were two different countries already.

Gabriel :
haha. yeah. still kinda stunned la.

fiona :
hey CAPTAIN! i seriously quite relieved that the weekend is over. dont have to keep planning for that dinner anymore. haha. great job at your end too. youre like the entertainment. lol.

kathleen :
haha. hellooooo. i realise that you never tag my blog with anything else. just always just laugh and say hellooo. predictable!

KC :
dang. i knew i forgot something. haha. but only you and ying call me that! so its not that common. lol. yall are just lazy okay, want to use a one syllable word for my name.. tsk tsk. :)

AARON:
hello. can i help you?

yang :
haha. will do will do. i'll have to see how many people going down first lo. then i'll msg you.

tzet :
huh? why are you banned from canoeing? haha. keep giving us backwash right. then jiaolian not happy. lol. mm, yeah today's mizuno run was good. but i didnt sign up for bayrun. nvm, i'll be at nike! haha. without you! awww.


Secondhand Serenade - Your Call

weekend's almost over, hope it was productive

ah this past weekend has been rather eventful.

training as usual on saturday. didnt really feel like myself, couldnt concentrate on paddling because i knew something was wrong with my strokes in the k1. nvm, ive consulted people about it, and its time to start the rebuilding program again. i WILL do it, no matter what it takes, hate the feeling of seeing people paddling in front of me down the lane. was kinda a downer till i did that final set with gideon in the k2. okayy so maybe we're not exactly the most complimentary pair in the k2, but it seriously gave me the feeling that im more cut out for k2 and/or k4. the few trngs that ive used those boats ive been so much more comfortable than in k1 and my strokes have had much better frequency and efficiency. hmms. only time will tell i suppose, now.. focus.

farewell dinner with the j2s, j3s, j4s went okay i hope. i know from my end it was just one scare after another, rushing to be in time for the bqq caterer, then not being sure we ... ahh well shant air dirty laundry here. haha :) seems like the people there had a rather good time so im having no regrets at all the time spent on it. its their smiles and laughter that really makes the effort worthwhile. but then again, im so gonna get cheehao back for masterminding the effort to throw me in the pool. ohyeah, cheehao you are so dead. hahaha.

mizuno wave run this morning. organisation was much better this year in comparison. the running track.. slightly better, perhaps cos theres no mud! haha. mmm the run itself was good too, improved my timing by 5mins! ahaha. even though didnt train at all for this run. woo. fun. the first 7km were a breeze luh, dont know why i wasnt panting at all. maybe the lack of training hit me after that, noticed that i slowed down alot. ohwell, just means more training for me to get ready for the standard chartered lo. but still .. 54mins!! yay :) hilary is feeling quite good today. took and nap after, so feeling quite rested too. haha.

Days go by.

another late night. another night sleeping preparing to sleep at some ungodly hour where the noise i hear is those bloody cats fighting behind my house, and the neighbour's dog barking at them. but who's grumbling, at least this time i managed to do my homework and revise a little physics. thats more than ive done all the previous week..

lets start with:
dammit people! i have a name. and it doesnt start with C. its Hilary, and im happy with it. lol. im thankful that yall have trust in me (i hope) and you can bet i'll give you, the team, the school my all and more. but then again its not all about us, sacanoeing will only progress if we all work together as one. Up and On.

theres seriously a whirlwind spinning around in my head. its so violent that i cant seem to focus on any one topic for extended periods of time. okayy, maybe one. anyway, im finding it surprising that lessons are actually seemingly better in the sense that now im able to grasp the concepts loads faster. especially physics. lol, tuition helps! great..

loads to do, loads to keep in view, loads to think about, loads to consider. it seems like every minute im wondering if i could be doing something more productive than what im doing at the present. stress stress.

times short, make the most of it:
farewell dinner
mizuno run
goalsetting
leaders retreat
settle team attire (yay)
open house


taking the plunge - 6days

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.





oh, quite cool. found the link on lina's blog and decided to give it a go since im so freaking bored of doing my EoM. haha. i ... found some stuff that i guess i pretty true. ive tried the follow up quizzes and i seriously think that this is some sort of quiz designed for girls. haha. but ohwell this part looks normal.

YOU. yeah you. talking about you.

dammit, with every passing day, im just disliking you more and more. its the things you do, the way you act, the things you say.. frankly - its just you. ohwell, what can i say to you?

try to be less of a *insert profanity here*

aye.

Canoeing dinner yesterday at Marche! as far as i can remember, its like the only large scale gathering that the j2s and j1s have had together. some j3s actually came along this time too. mm shared meals with aaron-gideon-leon, actually sorta saved money since we ended up spending less than what we would have if we'd got our food seperately.

canwhoring at the gallery after dinner was cool. haha. lots of random shots and gay poses (its making me start to wonder who are really gays -HAHA) everyone was jumping this way and another to get into pictures. messy! i think we really made a hell lot of noise and all, but who cares right? haha. once a year we get to be so rowdy together. make the best of it. send me the pictures!!!

actually i didnt plan on leaving as early as i did, but ... aye i dunno, suddenly didnt feel all that good, plus the fact that i had tuition early this morning, just felt that i needed a good night's sleep (which i didnt get -.-). ohwell, i think i should never be alone with nothing to do for too long, i just tend to think too much about stupid stuff that start off as nothing then escalate in my mind to become some huge affairs. aye. dunnoo. i shall stop doing that - for real.

well, caravan tuition is pretty good i suppose, even though ive only just started today, the teacher's really cool! haha. bugger, used my name to make the class laugh (expected) - dammit. hahaha, nvm im used to it, its fine. lol. naomi made the good recommendation for this tuition, good good, but i still think its kinda early and quite insane to go to orchard at 8plus on a sunday morning. haha. at least she walked with me to dohby ghaut after that so that i didnt have to change trains (lol actually she did it for the free icecream). but thanks anyway. had a really long talk with her - got a lot off my mind. for the first time in a long while, i forgot about the stress. whew. ohwell, looking foward to tuition next week, learning about gravitation! gonna have an easier time in school next time!! hahaha. yesssss.

no more kidding around, time to dig deep for the additional 100% i want, nono, need.

rewriting history.

today marked the end of canoeing National Adivs 2008. incredible day, all the final races were on. saw racers in A,B and even C divs of amazing quality and ability. omg, just imagine that next year we'll have to race against some of them. ahh what the heck, we'll take them down. ahaha. yeah.

anyway, the current j2 batch have really left a legacy in SAJCcanoeing. in the mere 3/4 years since the establishment of the team, the team has gone from being relatively unknown and total outsiders in the racing scene to a rather formidable force. this was to no small extent proven today in the finals by the j2s as they really fought tooth and nail with the other teams, not even flinching in the face of the traditional powerhouses of NJC, ACJC, RJC, etc... although not all the seniors made it into the finals, and even then not all the finalists came out on top, i do not for a moment doubt their capabilities or their desire to succeed. in many cases, the only difference between them progressing to the finals or winning their finals came down to that little bit of luck that was lacking, something totally out of their control. nonetheless, im really really proud to say that despite the overwhelming odds, huiqin-qianwen came out with double silvers in their 500m and 1000m k2 events, and eugene-jack-nicholas-jonathan stormed to grab the first ever sajccanoeing gold in their k4 event. congrats!

its been a really pleasure and honour to have the chance to train with such a wonderful bunch of people. not only are they totally dedicated during trainings, they're not too shabby to talk to outside of trainings as well. just want you people to know that you've all been really inspirational to me and (borrowing a line used by gideon) - i want to grow up to be just like you. hahaha.





Westlife - Pictures In My Head

Thank you for tomorrow
When you gonna call me (call me)
Thank you for the weekend
When you gonna see me (see me)
Thank you for the memories
We haven’t made yet
You’ve always been a part of me
Even before we met (we met)
Yeah

Thank you in advance for the love you give me
I’ve had a glance of the good life (good life)
You’ll be there when nobody believes me
I’ve gone through it all in my mind

I can see me looking at you
At the start of the day for all my life
I can see me dying to hold you
On the way when
I’m driving home at night
I’ve got these pictures in my head
These pictures in my head, yeah
I’ve got these pictures in my head
These pictures in my head

Thank you for tomorrow
When you gonna call me (call me)
Thank you for the weekend
When you gonna see me (see me)
Thank you in advance
For the time you’ll notice
I’m all you’ve wanted all of your life
Thank you for every single moment
I’ve gone through it all in my mind

I can see me looking at you
At the start of the day for all my life
I can see me dying to hold you
On the way when
I’m driving home at night
I’ve got these pictures in my head
These pictures in my head, yeah
I’ve got these pictures in my head
These pictures in my head
Pictures in my head

Thank you for the best times
Thank you for the journey

I can see me looking at you
At the start of the day for all my life
I can see me dying to hold you
On the way when
I’m driving home at night

I can see me looking at you
At the start of the day for all my life
I can see me dying to hold you
On the way when
I’m driving home at night

I’ve got these pictures in my head
These pictures in my head, yeah
Pictures in my head, yeah



just a sign, please.

lets get a little closer now.

okay. dont mind the title of this post, i was struggling to come up with anything and i was listening to some song so i just extracted the lyrics..

well, after reading KC's recent post, im kinda forced to agree. is it just me, or are classes in JC just not as close as those that we've had in secondary school, or even primary school. i dont know.. tell me though, im guessing its gotta be me cos i dont see that many of the other people having the same problems, i think. like, when recently the class decided to go to Sentosa *ahem-ahem-ahem*, and asked me along, i totally didnt feel any incentive to go with them. okayy, perhaps i had training that i didnt wish to miss. perhaps im just not the kind to ... do what they did. dammit theres really something wrong with me. i dont even think i have very close friends in my class..

i mean, for as long as i can remember, every class that ive been in has produced a couple of people that ive been really really close to, and that id usually be seen with. its like if you couldnt contact me in school and you called their handphones, youd probably be able to talk to me... mm like there were people like eechun in pri school, albert in lower secondary, iggy in upper sec, now? aye.

stranger still, ive realised that the bulk of my closer friends dont usually come from my classes either.. haha. looking at the people that i still keep in contact with, theres the joshuagoh gang that i still have no idea how i came to know, the ncc brothers, and of course - the canoeing team. whats it with me and class bonding..? ohwell.

aye. maybe theres something wrong with me, maybe im just having too much time on my hands to think about all this nonsensical rubbish. who knows .. lol.



anyway.. to all those sa-canoeists that are taking part in the upcoming Adivs:

ALL THE BEST !

show what you've got, though im not rowing but you'll have my moral support all the way, if that helps. haha.

Adivs next week. Up and On!

yes, i realise that its only been about 5days since my last post. yes, i know nothing much usually happens in such a short period of time. and yes, nothing much DID happen during these past few days. haha.

aye, though its only thursday, feels like weeks and weeks have passed. lol. usually theres only like water trainings during the week on wednesdays, but now... like everyday? haha. staying out paddling at Bedok.R until the sun has gone down, then reaching home and eating dinner alone, with my family usually already preparing for bed. perhaps its these things that makes it feel like a couple of weeks have passed.

working on my paddling stroke now during trainings i guess.. but shant say too much about it la. its just ... mundane. lol. lets see... there was Alevel chinese oral on monday? im thinking that it went pretty okayy. the passage was a little tough with a couple of words i wasnt too sure of, but the conversation was pretty cool. for the first time EVER in my memory, the examiners told me hen2hao3 (good job) before letting me off. haha. hope they werent just saying it and that they really meant it. i soooo do not want to take chinese in j2 again. i really really cant stand it. haha.

oh oh oh! i was playing with this cat outside the toilet after training on wednesday! haha. it was damn cute i tell you. and it didnt run away when i approached it.. how nice la. i wish i had a cat... ohwell. sorta went like this: there was this cat hanging around outside the toilet when i came out after showering. the other guys called me over cos they knew i liked cats (or maybe they just called me for fun - whateverrrr). anyway, dunno why but i was damn happy (haha?) approached the cat and to my surprise it didnt back away! wah damn cool can. it let us feed it (with chenyang's food- HAH!) and pet it and stuff. maybe it was just staying for the food, maybe it wanted attention, who knows..? lol, it was still cool. i want a kitten/cat!

mmm. college day day, kinda small scale i suppose, considering that no outsiders were allowed in for the funfair. haha. our class's games booth was the biggest disaster ever... maybe cos no one bothered about managing it at all! lol. hung out with the j1 canoeists... watched SAINTS Idol (Tiffany got third!), bought all sorts of random food, then went to try out the haunted house. haha biggest joke la. i laughed the entire haunted house, there was supposed to be this storyline but i just didnt really get it cos of the chaos so i just walked around laughing...

mmm theres catholic high homecoming tomorrow, so i guess i'll be there... i really really really wanna take a nap