letting go isnt easy for me

just a couple of days of semi-freedom and actually im already getting kinda bored. bored enough to think stupid thoughts. sorry sorry, one more paper standing between me and total freedom and im determined not to let this ruin my holidays..

gotta stop thinking about stuff that i dont have control after.






i listen: Jesse McCartney - Take Your Sweet Time

theres something missing

i just read this from mann's blog:


There comes a point where you miss someone so much that you can hear their voice echo in your head. And you can hear the names they used to call you, the words they used to tell you.

You memorised their laugh, their smile, and their silly ways. You can also feel their arms around you and you don't want to let go even though you know it's just an illusion.

Everytime your phone rings, you smile because it's them that's calling. Everytime you hear their name, your heart beats 100 times faster and sometimes you can't even breathe.

You knew that looking back on the tears would make you laugh, but you never knew that looking back on the laughs would also make you cry.

All you want is to go back in time, not to the time where you first met, to the time you were known as nothing, but strangers. But no matter what, you're in denial.

You hide your feelings so no one would know. You put on a fake smile and don't let a single tear break through. You're so used to holding your feelings that you don't realise the pain you're causing for yourself.

Your thoughts become invisible. It's still there, but no one knows. Like a love letter you didn't show. And you're hurting no one but yourself.




wtf, tell me about it.

if im alive and well, will you be there holding my hand?

3 more papers woooo... hahaha. this weekend i havent even felt the slightest urge to study. i so totally had to force myself to do the minimal-est minimal amount of work. i believe i actually spent more time sleeping and exercising than studying. gosh..

ive decided - ill let the sinseh work her magic on wednesday...after i go for a swim. ohmann i hate going to sinsehs, they twist they tug they push then this sinseh likes to do some stuff with needles. lol then after that theres that itchy itchy bandage.. not to mention i cant swim and stuff for a couple of days ); nvm, once thats done and dusted, itll be 'get back to fitness' program. haha yay ive been waiting for so superduper long! i cant remember a time that i feel as unfit as i do now...

monday - gym (yck)
tuesday - circuits (sgn stadium)
wednesday - swim
thursday - swim
friday - gym (yck)
sat - BEDOK. R


haha you know where to find me if you cant contact me then ;P



i listen: Three Doors Down - Kryptonite

just you and me and love and all of our friends

they say that the person you truly love is the last person in your mind at night, and the first person in your mind in the morning... that person was - my chinese sinseh (omgwtfshit!) haha its not what you think, i fell asleep last night considering whether i should visit her to treat the annoying wrist once and for all, and i dreamt about going to the sinseh and the prickly needles, so i woke up and remembered the dream! hahaha. me love the sinseh, no chance, not after shes drawn so much blood from me. LOL.

sorry for the craziness, just quite happy that im over and done with econs paper and it wasnt as bad as i feared.. haha hurrah! now just chiong physics and chem and itll all be over. on a side note, hurrah for physics too hahaha.




i listen: Three Doors Down - Its Not My Time

I ain't missing you at all

retro songs are great studying music. okayy maybe its just me... haha being uncle-ish again. i really should borrow the other volumes of retro love songs from xx after As to copy. LOL.

physics physics coming up. ever since prelims ive been feeling that its my most confident subject, i sure hope i dont screw it up. 3papers spread across 3weeks - wth man, its tormenting me... speaking of torture, the econs paper on fri is dreadful. h1 it may be, but as i told aaron, id rather be doing another gp paper haha. econs suckss man..

pffffft. so many things i wanna do after As, cant wait for it to enddd...





i listen: John Waite - Missing You

it wont mean you're weak if you turn the other cheek

first week down. it might just be me, but i think that the papers this year seem a little strange compared to previous years. dont seem as straightforward.. or maybe everyone says that every year. haha. who knows?



i really dont know if im healing, or just getting used to the pain. i sure hope its the former...





i listen: Kenny Rogers - Coward Of The County

gonna make you notice

its nice to finally talk to someone who really gets it.
guess it takes one to know one.


thanks bro.


i listen: Kings Of Leon - Use Somebody

dont wanna stay dreaming of what could've been

everyday just gets more and more tiring. it brings a whole new meaning to the word endurance. haha. 1 week to the beginning, 1 month to the end. lets go.

pure frustration.




i listen: Westlife - Can't Lose What You Never Had