right now my life's fucking shot to hell. yeah it is..


but i dont believe i cant make it work.

a few teensy cuts on my fingers... oww. haha i hate tiny cuts. if their gonna hurt anyway, why not big ones? small ones are just irritating, cos you dont notice them, then you rub them on something and you get that stinging sensation.. tsk.

k4 k4!

ooh k4 today. interesting, rundowns feel quite fast. issues to be worked out though.. we cleaned the boats too =D whoa that was energy sapping, at least everyone stayed back to help out today - i appreciate that. id like to commend aaron for his effort and organisation today. even though it was a little messy in the beginning, you sorted it out damn well and we got the stuff done pretty efficiently after that. kudos to you.

oh oh! got to ride coach's bicycle today. yes, his imba expensive customised bike. he was asking for a volunteer to ride to the shops nearby to make duplicates for the shed keys then he said we could use his bike. even now, i cant believe i went: 'me! me! me!' like some idiot, seriously. i happily hopped on his bike and was riding there when i suddenly remembered how expensive it was.. then i started worrying that id scratch it or something. haha damn scary. besides, the seat is so super high up that my feet cant even reach the ground when im seated! im wondering how he does it since hes about my height..

on last thing - was on the bus to gym when i saw this damn humorous scene. see, there was this pretty wide road and the green man was blinking. so this indian man tried to be smart and started running across the road. he was just over halfway across the road when the red man came on, so instead of just running faster to get to the other side, he gave this small jump, then turned around and scurried back to the side he came from. it was damn funny i tell you, i laughed so loudly on the bus that i woke johnny up... smart fellow...

finally

at last, i can use the computer without it lagging like crazy. at last, i can open a window and not have to wait and come back like 2mins later just to view the contents. at last, reformatted my laptop. haha. woohoo.

anyway, its been activity after activity recently, not many free moments, never a dull moment. i kinda stopped blogging for a while there cos i was damn pissed off at the laggy comp. haha. anyway, i had a million and one things to say before i actually sat down in front of the laptop to type it out, now it kinda seems like everything has left me...

anyway, to state the obvious, the past week has pretty much been non stop trainings for me. think the highlight was when i went down alone for optional on sunday (thanks to everyone for ps-ing me) and got tips from coach and waikit. pretty good day.

well there was also the Swissotel Vertical Marathon last sunday. im sure you heard about it in the news or read about it in the newspaper. well haha it was pretty hellish for me, 73floors without training? thighs were burning up, didnt help that i went up with some vj track dudes and some commando. even laden with a water bag and bulky pouch, the commando just burned me totally, couldnt even find him anywhere in the staircase. pfft. anyway 11:34, im happy.. for now - next year under 11!

class chalet these past 2 days. only stayed for one night though, rushed back to school this morning for team meeting - and breakfast.. haha. anyway, caught 'Rec' with the class last night, hmms spanish 'Quarantine'? i think it was pretty cool for me in the sense that i didnt really know the ending until the end, unlike the others. totally loved it when the old lady got owned twice! firstly with the shotgun, then getting hit with the sledgehammer twice in the head. haha. imba. Manu was damn funny too! nvm nvm, seriously- go catch the show before it stops screening..

team meeting this morning. whew long long long... i almost passed out by the end of it. some things im still not too enthused about, but well i have no problems la. if you all are fine with me, i dont see why i have any reason to have problems with you.

i dont really feel interested regarding tmr, i kinda just wanna be alone..

=?

i hate having too much free time on my hands. it makes me lazy, complacent and feel really really lethargic, but most of all, i start to think. i know that its quite ironic that i feel that i have too much time on my hands, what with the homework to be done, and trainings coming thick and fast, but i cant help it. i hate thinking. if i had my way, id wish that i had the energy to train daily, for virtually every waking hour, only stopping to eat and sleep. yeah sounds pretty insane, but training seems to be the only time i dont think of stupid things.

like... one thing i do is that i tend to think of my weaknesses and it pretty much overflows sometimes and makes me pretty moody. i know im not the fastest rower - so id think of things like: im not aggressive enough, not competitive enough, technique not good enough, not enough water time, not fit enough etc etc. then itd lead to things like: what if i cant lead the others well enough by not setting a good example? like: i know im not the most positive person, not the most charismatic, not the most motivational, too passive.. the list goes on.

of course, the worst thing is that i always always read too much into the things around me. sometimes a simple action that ive seen someone do earlier in the day can come back to me when im lying in bed trying to sleep or something and spiral into something thats totally exaggerated and unrelated, then i get flustered about it for no valid reason - sometimes.

grr.

mixed feelings

sentosa trip and training camp the past few days.

the trip was great imo, first time in years (really i havent been there since primary school) that ive been to sentosa. hmms, pretty much spent the whole day under the sun, haha forgot to apply sunblock somemore.. thankfully i think my skin is pretty resistant to sunburn already, it just kinda got a little itchy over the next few days? haha. maybe the skin's all dead or something?

basketball - touch rugby - volleyball - beach soccer (yay). i tell you, its been ages since ive played so many games in a day. haha. and thanks to that day, ive been kinda hanging on to the thought of soccer and touch rugby. for soccer its like the return of an addiction, ive been like suppressing the temptation to play cos im scared i'll get injured then i cant train. lol. but as ive told aaron, i sooooo wanna form a court soccer team as soon as our Adivs are over.. =DD

oh and did i mention, i kinda masterminded throwing all the girls into the water... muhahahaha. so much for not wanting to get wet huh =) oops - did i just say that out loud, sorryyy. ohwell, messed abt in the water for awhile after that, supposed to have lots of pics, but im not sure whose camera theyre in and im pretty lazy to ask now, so whover has them, pls send to me okay! much thanks.


training camp ended today btw.. hmms. well i dont really think i need to go into detail after that reflection session. positives and negatives were noted. would really like the other guys to know that youre seriously the crappiest bunch of people ive been with. haha. FOC indeed. really really never a dull moment. cheers, lets continue to work together towards our common goal.

i really really dont know whats going on. if i had control over the situation, i think id just ignore you totally already. but its not cos i feel any different, rather its cos my head is damn messed up thanks to the things you do, or dont do.



just so you know, youre screwing with my mind. thanks

sinseh..

i think the sinseh near my house must be crazily happy that i keep getting injured, then they keep sucking my money.. urgh. its like some family business somemore, the two elderly sinsehs with their two middle aged children.

the process would go something like this :
take a number and settle down for some imba long wait in the crowded reception area. head on into the room where a sinseh will ask a few rountine questions about the injury etc etc.. now, sinseh tells you to relax while he/she starts twisting/tugging/pulling at the joint. out comes the needle and you'll feel sharp pricks and prods on the spot of the injury. then some suction cup is applied and its like a vaccum cleaner is sucking you. a little more rubbing and twisting, and youre done! for today..

usually when all this is happening im just lying there on the table messaging or meddling with my phone so i dont notice whats happening. however, today i just had this urge to look. umm well what i saw shocked me a little. apparently, that little needle isnt for acupuncture purposes like i originally thought... it draws blood? then the suction cup is to draw out the blood so that the swelling will lessen? haha. so when i looked down, what i saw was the suction cup just like filling up with my blood.. super imba can, ive never seen so much blood come out of my body before. urgh..