almost one whole month since ive posted here, and yet the words dont seem to be flowing... maybe im losing my feel for writing, or maybe its just that i dont feel deeply enough to write about anything anymore..
i swear ive been feeling kinda empty ever since training ended. sure-on the surface it seems really liberating in the sense that i have lots more free time on my hands and ive gotten to know my classmates much better, but but but its like i lost some kinda purpose in my life?
i cant really explain it but sometimes i feel quite alone in school. haha strange huh.
life's just more complicated. how i wish it could be simple. just 'yes' or 'no'? i must have believed a lie - i hope not...
the long this drags, the more disillusioned i get...
had a kinda random and spur-of-the-moment lunch and chill session with koon, ivan and joel this afternoon. it really got me thinking... ive always wondered why im still able to connect with this gang after so long, we werent from the same class, werent from the same cca, there seems to be nothing holding us together.
today, after talking to joel on the way home, i think ive finally got it, its cos our friendship is genuine. i mean this in a totally manly, totally ungay way when i say its cos we care for each other. i know for a fact that id risk life and limb for any one of them, cos i know theyd do the same for me.
we were talking about influences when i realised, that this bunch have been great for me, in terms of keeping me on the right track in life, and in my studies. all my memories of studying for Os are with them, staying back in CHS chapel, sundays are YCSHQ, joel's place the night before history Os.
i only wonder why ive not met anyone like that in jc, i guess people just get more superficial and more distant.. ohwell..
